A Promise to Myself

Hello again..... I have always loved blogging. So far I've realised that I have created....and deleted so many blogs. Haha. And so as I was showering, having THAT moment of wisdom and where all thoughts came in, I shall promise to myself, to keep and have ONE BLOG THAT'LL LAST! I don't know if I can make it at the end of the day, but, if I do, then I would have not failed in something :D I know blogging is sooooo 90s ago, but I just love the way we can write whatever we want, blurting out whatever we wish. So this blog will be about my life, my career, my baby, my family, my friends, words of wisdoms, my thoughts of the future and past....and also, this will mark the beginning of a new leaf. I have to move on, I have to change, I have to live, for the better. For those who know me, they would definitely know who I am. I'm Ning, I love my job, I fly, I love my daughter, and...I am recently accepting the fact that I am, and will forever be....a single mother. I have hurt and disappoint a lot of people these years. I am sorry, especially to my mum....and dad. I am a failure, I will always be the daughter who has let you both down. And I hope, one day, I can provide for both of you, without you both, having to worry, anymore. Being a mother, is never easy. And I can never understand the term of being, a "good" mother. If I was to judge me, as a mother, I think I failed miserably too. Is my age to be blamed? For I am so young, and I have never planned to be a mother, and I do not know how to be one. But baby girl, I promise, I will give you everything you want, everything you need. But I just hope, you know I love you, and feel loved all the time. For I am trying, my best, to be a mum....and at the same time, to be the "father" too. I have talked to my cousin once, how is it possible to be a single parent and to be good at it. I mean, I don't even know how to be a good mother, what else being a GOOD single parent. and he told me, the most important essence is, Time. Not only spend time with your child, but quality time. Always tell them you love them, and make them feel loved. I don't know. I google a lot of parenting lessons. But never seem to succeed in doing it. HAHA Anyway, as I promise, to myself and also my fellow readers (IF THERE IS ANY), I SHALL KEEP THIS BLOG NO MATTER WHAT. To infinity..........and beyond. XOXO, Ning.